Volkswagens and AirCare: enemies to the death.
"Did it pass AirCare?" "It's a Volkswagen. Of course not."
AirCare: The Bane of My Existence
First World Problems
I'm probably not going to elicit much sympathy from this, as I could have had a new(er) car instead of the one I already have. But because I made the "fun!" (aka irresponsible!) choice to quit my job and then spend my big pile of money gallivanting around some continents for a while, I came home to my high-mileage 1997 Golf.
I loved this car when I got it
I still love you, Mabel. You death trap on wheels you.
And I love things about this car. Like how a tank of gas that will get me 550km costs less than $40. Or how... it has a manual transmission! And... doors. And wheels... And it gets me from point A to point B relatively unscathed... Ok, so there isn't much that's great about this car. But it's (usually) cheap to run, and I don't have any sort of monthly car payment.
Car payments are why I don't have a newer, nicer car.
Do you know how much a monthly car payment for a new Civic is? $300
And the car payment for the sole car that might actually motivate me into taking on a monthly car payment, aka a Dodge Challenger?
At least $600.
(That was the sound of my bank account getting raped.)
So I still have my 13-year-old, junky-but-mostly-reliable, practically-free-to-drive Golf. I should probably throw some money at it, like to paint the hood or fix the cracked-to-shit windshield, the latter of which would not hold up in a vehicle inspection. But as it's high mileage and never been rebuilt, it would probably be smarter just to sell it before its maintenance bills are more than the car's value.
I cancelled its insurance pre-departure and put storage insurance on it. And I was actually excited to reinsure it, as three years has now elapsed since my car accident and ICBC's accident forgiveness would have kicked in, making my already practically free to drive car even freer. Whoa that's actually a word? Awesome! Freer freer freer.
I head to the local Autoplan to reinsure my car, hand her all my paper work, get my blank cheque ready (as I had forgotten it on the first attempt), and smugly wait to hear just how cheap my monthly insurance payment is going to be.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your AirCare's expired."
If hopes and dreams dying was audible, that's the sound.
She could have also said, "Cry. Then please go to your nearest mechanic and pay $300."
AirCare is a tax on the poor.
New vehicles are exempt from AirCare for their first seven years of life. After that they only need to be checked every two years, and they usually pass with flying colours.
AirCare was implemented in 1992. Does this mean that vehicles built prior to 1992 are exempt? No. Cars built in 1992 or previous need to be checked every year.
AirCare should be much the same as how the seatbelt law works: if your car was built without seatbelts before the seatbelts law came into effect, you don't need to install seatbelts in your car.
And while I realize that this still wouldn't make my 1997 Golf exempt from AirCare, it would make me a little less bitter about all the hell they caused me with my 1972 Bug. But AirCare is government, which means it's not much more than a thinly-veiled cash grab, and despite similar programs being nixed throughout the states they had been implemented in because it's becoming increasingly pointless, AirCare still exists because the BC government likes to tax the poor.
I don't drive a '97 Golf because I think it's fun to not have things like airbags and air conditioning and ABS brakes and power windows. I drive it because I can't afford anything else right now. Because I spent all my money on silk and silver in India. Pity me.
You know what else I can't afford? The mechanic bill, to fix my off-the-chart nitrogen oxide rating. Because I quit my job before I went on said silver and silk shopping spree. Cue more pity.
Do you think they looked at my supremely-below-average carbon monoxide reading and gave me a break? Or averaged the three readings? Or though, ehhh two out of three ain't bad, off you go. Nope. Not even a high five.
Carbon monoxide? WILL KILL YOU.
Nitrogen oxide? Makes your car go fast! Wheeeee!
If you are in the 1992 or older category, where regulations say you need to go through AirCare every year, they charge you $23 for the exam.
If you are in the 1993 and newer category, where you only need to go through AirCare every two years, the testing fee is $47.
Whoa, what's that?
Both exams are exactly the same. But if we're only going to see you every two years, we're going to charge you double! That's the price you pay for being able to afford a new car that was built to meet modern emissions standards!
My car is pretty economical in the grand scheme of things. It even rated as having better than average gas consumption for its class in the AirCare test. If I were to take that $40 tank of gas and light it on fire, it would still be more Earth-friendly than a new V8 diesel that spews out a thick plume of black smoke every time you hammer on the pedal.
Maybe this is Mother Nature's vengeance for how I drove Richie's truck. In that case, I'm sorry MN. Love you!
But because that brand new $78,000 F350 V8 meets the emissions standards for its class, it doesn't even need to go on its first date with AirCare until 2016. And that first date won't even be awkward and it'll pass with flying colours and it'll do the stride of pride out of the AirCare lineup like no tomorrow.
So let's break it down.
Typical redneck: $15,600 for truck/year* + $6,000 for diesel/year** = $21,600 annual vehicle expenses
*($78,000 / 5 year payment plan)
**(20,000km / 400km per tank x $120 per fill)
Me: $900 for car/year*** + $1455 for gas/year**** = $2,355 annual vehicle expenses
***($4,500 / 5 years of ownership)
****(20,000 / 550km per tank x $40 per fill)
I'm not even factoring in insurance, which is exponentially more for a vehicle that expensive, compared to what it costs me for mine.
One of us can afford expensive car repairs, and the other cannot.
One of us is hands-down spewing more pollutants into the air than is necessary, and the other is not.
But I'm the one being penalized for emissions and on my way to fork out a few hundred dollars in repairs.
AirCare is a tax on the poor.
Ah yes, Aircare.
ReplyDeleteTry something fun for size. My Benz didn't make it either, I knew why, I have some leaks in the carbs and try to get the kits for it.
Here's the kicker though. I need to spent $300 to get an excemption. The fun part is I thought it WAS $300 but it is actually UP to $300 and the aircare certified places I talked to all told me a very simple thing: We don't have anybody who can deal with carborators, so all they do is adjust the adjustment screws. Wow. That's something *I* can do myself.
But the fun thing is: Go there, have them fiddle with the screw, have the car fail, get a note that they "repaired" the car, then go back to aircare and you pass.... Until next year when I have to do it all over again.
The system is pretty screwed, I wish they would either drop it for older cars or at least make it a safety inspection. A wheel coming off a car or failing breaks on the car are much more likely to kill me than a leaky carb.