Get Your Paps, Ladies!

I volunteer at Options for Sexual Health in Mission as a receptionist and methods counsellor. It's two hours a week that's usually a fun-filled opportunity to catch up with the other volunteers, some of whom I've become very close with over the years (I've been there since 2002), and it's a way to give back that helps the whole community.

Any organization that helps prevent unwanted pregnancy, quells the spread of sexually transmitted infections, and promotes sexual health is an organization that I stand behind. We are contributing to fewer teen moms (sorry MTV), fewer cases of STIs, and early detection of cervical issues, including cervical cancer.

People have always has misconceptions about OPT, especially when it was under its former name Planned Parenthood. It seems to conjure up images of hungover girls buying Plan B after an ill-prepared night out, or of a stream of women getting their third or fourth or tenth abortions. While we do offer emergency contraceptives, and we will discuss all options (parenthood, adoption, abortion – we're pro-choice!) with clients whose pregnancy tests come back positive, the majority of our clients are young (16-25) women who understand the importance of taking care of themselves, and recognize that prevention is the best route.

Of course we do get the oh-my-god-what-have-I-done types, but who hasn't had a lapse in judgment? I dare you to show me a single girl whose never forgotten to take her birth control.

 I'm a speculum! I look like a friendly bird!

Much like how our clinic is sometimes grossly misunderstood, so are pap smears. It's mild discomfort at its worst, and the whole exam takes less than five minutes. You're dressed and done before you know it!

Donating blood is more uncomfortable and takes longer than a pap test. I would know, as I used to donate, up until those bastards told me I was "too anaemic to donate." Pfft. Plucking your eyebrows is more painful than a pap. Seriously, sitting there naked save for a paper blanket with your knees apart is the worst part. I promise.

A few weeks ago, a young (I believe she was only 22) client of ours came in, and mentioned the results of her pap. It showed abnormal and possibly pre-cancerous cells, and she was headed back in for additional tests. She was calm, cool and collected, because knowing there might be a problem this early on means she's going to have it taken care of before it has a chance to develop into a real issue.

And yet, people are still arguing that women don't need to get paps until they're in their thirties. If our 22-year-old client had heeded that advice and waited eight years to get her first pap? She might not have even made it that long.

Still unsure? That's fine, because the unknown can be scary. I invite you to come to any of the OPT clinics and talk about it. We can show you exactly what to expect, you can talk to the nurse who will be doing the exam, and you can check out the exam room. You can even have a friend or volunteer go in with you to hold your hand and distract you from having a nurse all up in your bits!

Please. It's important.

If you come to the Mission chapter, look for me. I'll be wearing a t-shirt that looks like this:

(No seriously, I have this shirt, thanks to Nicole of Wet Coast Nurse's Curses. She's got one too, and we have six more on order. This is our new unofficial clinic uniform. Yay!)

City vs. ‘Burbs: the Rebuttal

I take serious issue with the Province’s Sunday print edition cover story. Unfortunately, it seems to be print-only, so I can't link to it here.

Update: it is online, see it here. When I searched earlier I could only find the teaser, not the article itself. It is missing the comparison chart that the print edition has though, and that's where I drew my numbers from.

City vs. ‘Burbs
Where does it cost less to live? The surprising answer inside. By Lena Sin.

Hardly. The teaser by-line basically gives it away. Everyone assumes the city costs more than the suburbs, so of course the “surprising” end result will be that the city comes out cheaper.

Living in or near Vancouver means this is a topic we hear about daily; city vs country, the cost of commuting vs the value of a backyard, the carbon footprint that each lifestyle offers. I know few people that haven’t debated moving to one from the other or vice versa.

I’ll admit it up front: I am a country girl. When I was eight, my parents decided that the street we were living on in Maple Ridge (207th, in Hammond), was getting to be too busy, so we left one heritage home for another, and moved to the house I still have managed to not be kicked out of, in Ruskin, Mission. With a park right next door, a frog- and fish-filled pond in the backyard, over half an acre of fenced space for us and the dogs to roam, and a view of the river across the street, it’s absolutely picture perfect.

When I was younger, weekends and summers were filled with unchaperoned trips to the river, block parties, and adventures with the other neighbourhood kids. We were picked up by a yellow school bus right from when I moved here in grade three through to the end of high school, with John the bus driver (who knew each one of us by name) dressing up as Santa and handing out candy canes on the last day of school before Christmas break.

Living in the city has its advantages. I know this better than many, as when I was working in Gastown I was spending over three hours a day commuting. Even with how nice the West Coast Express is, a commute like that takes its toll, and if I were to work downtown again I’d absolutely be moving to cut down on time spent on travel. Not to downtown, mind you, but to somewhere a little friendlier on the commute, like Port Moody or Coquitlam.

I love the country, and anyone who knows me knows this.

But what do I love more than the country? Unbiased, well-researched journalism.

City vs. ‘Burbs: the article

The article depicts a family of two parents and their young child, and compares two lifestyles: one in an 800 sq ft condo in Yaletown, and another in a 1,940 sq ft house in Coquitlam’s Burke Mountain.

Condo price: $639,000
House price: $629,000

Wait, what? $629,000 for a house outside of the city? That can’t be right, and is absolutely not an accurate depiction of an average single-family home in the Lower Mainland, new or used. $639k for a downtown condo probably is average; $629k for a suburban house is way off the mark.

Don’t even get me started on how few families could afford a condo or house that expensive to begin with.

According to my primitive internet research, around $640,000 is an average price for a house in Coquitlam, so the article’s $629,000 isn’t unrealistic by any means. But that’s Coquitlam, and its prices are going to be much higher than Aldergrove, Maple Ridge, Abbotsford or Mission. If you’re not dead-set on new, there’s a cute, well maintained, four-bedroom, two-bathroom 2200+ sq ft house built in 1950 for $524,900 in Coquitlam.

Condo living: $3,602/month
House living: $4,440/month

A couple I know recently purchased their first house: a newer, recently-renovated, four-bedroom house (three bedrooms on main floor, one in basement suite) in central Mission for right around $400,000. They have a basement suite tenant whose rent contributes to their mortgage payment, and their backyard is plenty big enough for their two German Shepard-cross dogs. When they have children, they will have ample room for them, and if they choose to move it will be because they want to, not because they’ve run out of bedrooms and are forced to.

I don’t know what their monthly mortgage payment is, but I can do the guesswork. Even if they didn’t put any money down on the home – which wasn’t the case – their monthly mortgage payment is still only ~$2100*, which is $329 less than the mortgage payment estimate in the article. Subtract another $700 that they net monthly from their tenant, and their payment is down to $1400/month. With a difference of over $1000 in mortgage payments, monthly living in the house in the suburbs is now cheaper than the condo in the city by $231.

Of course, this increases other costs. The monthly West Coast Express pass increases by about $120/month when riding from Mission to Waterfront, rather than from Coquitlam ($298.50 vs. $178.75). They may find themselves driving further when transit isn’t an option, but that is offset slightly by the cheaper gas prices found out this way. But other expenses, like groceries and dining out, not to mention property taxes (about $3500 for their place, compared to nearly $5000 for the article’s house), are less expensive here than in the city.

I couldn’t determine the specific house plan that the author used in her comparison, but I know the type: cookie-cutter, often strata-regulated, vinyl-siding, personality-free homes. These developments abound, and there are similar ones in Maple Ridge (Silver Ridge, for example) and Abbotsford (Auguston). Curious to know what 1,940 sq ft will get you, I did some research.

Basically, for any house over 1600 sq ft, you get at least three bedrooms and two and a half baths, plus an unfinished basement that can likely be converted into more.

An 800 sq ft condo in Yaletown? At best it’s two bedrooms, two baths, with zero room to expand.

She also didn’t include lot size, which is a little unbelievable. Lot size hugely affects a property’s price, and is one of the major factors in buying a house rather than a condo, if not the major factor. If this house is situated on an acre of prime real estate, then its high price makes a little more sense, but again, that’s not a realistic portrayal of average suburb living.

Why Ms. Sin didn’t choose to use comparable homes in her example is beyond me. If this family is planning on having more children, then they are going to need to move to a larger, and thus more expensive, condo in Yaletown. If this family isn’t planning on procreating any further, then they didn’t need to buy a three- or four-bedroom house; a 1200 sq ft two-bedroom, two-bath house would have been sufficient, and would have come at a substantially lower price.

And while a family’s budget for a home may be $639,000, there isn’t a rule saying that they have to or will spend that amount. I wouldn’t spend that much on a house in the Valley if I had a million dollars at my disposal, because it just isn’t necessary. Quality homes on spacious lots come at lower prices than that.

This says one of two things: either the author was determined to prove a point and found a house expensive enough to back up her claims, or she has no idea what qualifies as a solid representation of suburban living, and didn’t bother to research otherwise.

Either way, this is incredibly poor journalism.

And what’s the value of quiet? Of having a backyard? Of being able to just open the patio door when Fido needs to whiz, rather than having to take the elevator down eight stories and walk two blocks away to the dog park? Of letting your kids run around the street without fear of them being hit by a bus? Of sending them down to the basement where you can’t hear them when they’re rambunctious and it’s pouring rain outside? Of being able to see the stars at night? Difficult things to put a price on.

The article echoes the same sentiment that everyone, including myself, will agree on: obviously more is involved in the city vs. suburbs decision than the dollars involved.

But this article is a poor representation of the cost of living outside of the city, and I’m disappointed in the Province’s obvious bias.


*Thank you RBC mortgage payment calculator.

Dad, on Eggs (and Ex-Boyfriends)

[Necessary background information: Richie is my ex-boyfriend. Dad did not think much of him.]

 

Dad, filling up the beer fridge:

 

"The eggs are in the way." 

 

"So take them out. Eggs don't need to be in the fridge." 

 

"What? No, they'll go bad. They come out of a hot hen, and then they either turn into a chick or they go in the fridge." 

 

"Think about it though: that chick lives off the yolk for a month and it doesn't go bad. They don't need to be in the fridge. Richie's family had chickens and they never put their eggs in the fridge." 

 

"Yeah but look at what happened to him."

Life and Stuff!

I'm somewhere in week three of Concerta, and week 500 (or so it feels) of job hunting. Concerta's been helping a lot. I don't even know where to begin; I feel calmer and more clear-headed and far more productive. Little things aren't bothering me like they used to, and if I stay on top of taking it early (like 7am) it doesn't affect my sleep schedule.

When I last saw Sommi he confirmed that it doesn't have rollover effects, and that I can skip it on days that I don't need it. Since I don't mind being a scatterbrain when it's a weekend and it doesn't matter if I get everything done on a certain schedule (And since they're over $3/pop. That adds up fast when you're living on a dwindling savings account and EI hasn't kicked in yet.), I skipped them Saturday and Sunday of last weekend.

I also know that dependency is a threat, and the biggest issue is that things that formerly were pleasurable or exciting won't be that way sans drugs. I was at the Lions game on Sunday, and there was no shortage of cheer or excitement in this girl, so I'm fine so far. I think/hope.

But last Monday and Tuesday were horrible. I felt completely stressed out and disorganized, and it culminated with an awful night at the clinic Tuesday evening. I don't know if it was related to taking the weekend off of Concerta, but for now I'm going to stick with taking it daily for a few weeks before trying a couple days off again. I'm also on a temporary leave of sorts from the clinic for a few weeks. Two hours of volunteering shouldn't be the most stressful part of my week, and some things need to get fixed there before I return.

One of the weird things I've noticed is that I sing or hum all the time. I always sing a lot, like in the car or in the shower, and I often hum when I'm stressed. But this is like all day long every day. Did I always do this and never notice? Or is this new? I have no idea.

Job hunting... well, nothing yet. Still frustrated at the lack of responses (and interviews, and offers), but it's a tough market right now and there's nothing I can do but keep trudging on. I'm investigating a couple of different school options so that I have a backup plan if September rolls around and I still haven't found any sort of meaningful work.

I really want to be working though; I need to put this education to use. I also desperately need a new(er) car, and I need to get out of mom and dad's house and hair. While education is something worth going into debt for, I'd rather it be something I choose to do, rather than feel that I'm forced into doing it because my current education isn't netting me any gigs.

I turn 25 on Sunday. Part of me is excited because hey, birthdays are cool, and I've got an away Lions game and a Rihanna concert to keep me entertained. I keep wanting to freak out because "25" makes me think things like "boyfriend" and "moved out" and "career" and I don't have any of those things happening in my life. When I look at my friends and what they've got going on, all those things are in there and more, like marriage and dogs and car payments.

But I have to remember what I do have going on for me as 25 approaches. I've got 15 countries under my belt, six of which were on a long solo trip. While it's no doctorate, I do have a respectable education from a reputable college, and a bucketload of useful experience to go with it. I've got a good family (that loves me despite all my flaws), incredible friends that I can always depend on, and it's summertime and football season. Really? Life isn't all that bad.

Will Work For Cardboard Box

I am so sick of jobhunting. Or moreso, I'm so sick of not getting responses. If I were at least getting to the interview stage, or even just a response, I'd be so much more positive about this. But no replies whatsoever? Absolutely frustrating.

I'm probably also a little jaded, because when I was at Resilience, Ella and I replied to everyone. It takes 30 seconds to fire off a canned "sorry, you haven't made it to our interview round" email, and then the people that took the time to apply for our jobs at least knew that their email was received and reviewed. Then, for those that replied and asked why we didn't want to meet with them, we gladly took the time to let them know what it was about their application that prevented them from being interview-worthy.

On Monday of last week something right up my alley showed up in the Writers/Editors section of Craigslist:

Editor/Office Asst (Burnaby)
Health care company looking for a full time Editor/Office Assistant. Mon-Fri, 8am- 4pm. Primary responsibity is to edit therapists' assessment reports . In addition there may be some opportunities for writing health related articles. Helping with phone, scheduling and misc tasks will also be required. The ideal candidate must have an excellent command of the English language both verbal and written, be very focused, detail oriented, efficient, have initiative, and a team player. English degree an asset. Understanding of medical terminology helpful. Please include hourly wage expectation in your cover letter.

    * Location: Burnaby
    * Compensation: depending on experience
    * Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
    * Please, no phone calls about this job!
    * Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

So between my penchant for editing, my Certificate of Technical Writing (not an English degree but a worthy substitute given the position), and my job history working at a company that makes software for doctors and residents, I think I should have been a shoo-in for an interview.

But that dreaded last line: Please include hourly wage expectation in your cover letter.

I hate that. I absolutely completely hate when employers don't post what they're offering for the job, and moreso when they want you to tell them what you think it's worth. It's rude and a waste of people's time to not say what you want to pay. If it's $12 an hour, I wouldn't have bothered applying. If it's $40 an hour, I'm severely under-qualified and I'll let someone with ten years of experience step up as clearly that's what you're asking for. At least post a freaking wage range.

Come Friday I haven't heard anything, so I sent an inquiry email. I got a reply this morning:

interviewing this week. Your salary expectation is hire than what we are offering

I'm going to ignore that she misspelled "higher" as "hire."

ARGH. I'd hope that if what I put for an hourly wage ($20/hour, which isn't unreasonable) was only one or two dollars an hour higher than what they wanted to pay, they'd at least have the decency to reply with an option to negotiate. But because her response seemed to imply that I'd been written off entirely due to my astronomical asking price, I'd guess that they're hoping to find someone to do this for $14/hour or less.

I'm nearly 25, with an education from BCIT and over five years of relevant experience, half of which was working with medical terminology and coding systems, and you're telling me that $20/hour is too much? That'd all be fine and dandy, except that they want someone with a university education too. If four+ years of full-time school doesn't net you at least $20/hour, I'm sure glad I didn't bother with uni.

"Therapist" is vague, but I doubt there's a therapist on the planet that charges less than $60/hour. Speech therapists, physiotherapists, family therapists are all going to charge at least that for their services. And since it's "therapists' reports," there's more than one to cover the cost of having someone edit their reports.

You get what you pay for.

Update: She replied. They're offering $16. Why not just say that from the beginning? I don't get it.

Brain Update

This is day 4 of Concerta, and I'm feeling... all over the map. But better. I'm definitely seeing improvements in focus and I'm feeling way less distracted. I'm also starting to discern between what's a result of dysfunction, and what's a result of bad habit. And instead of "Omg I have so many responsilibities I don't know where to start panic panic paaaaannnniiiiiiiccccc" I've been thinking "Hey, I've got stuff to do. I'll make a list and see what I can tackle."

WHO AM I???

That is so new to me. I've never been that way, and it's so refreshing to have this new clarity. I've accomplished more job-hunting each day this week than I did in all of last week.

One of the characteristics of ADD is a tendency to be argumentative, and can lead to issues with relationships, and that is me to a T. I'm still opinionated and that's never going to change, but there have already been instances where I've surrendered rather than continue arguing, for the sake of my sanity (and undoubtedly those to whom I'm surrendering are grateful too. I know I was right anyway).

There are some downfalls. If I take it too late in the day I find it difficult to sleep at night. My eyes feel like they're bulging out of my head a little bit. Sometimes I feel physically wired, as though I've had a cup of coffee. And of course, there's always the threat of dependency in the long-run.

And now that I'm feeling more aware of everything, I'm getting irritated by new things; the radio used to just be background noise, but now I'm aware of talking and commercials and I keep turning it off because it's too irritating. I've also noticed how much traffic is on our road. I swear I never used to hear cars go by. No wonder my parents complain that the road is too busy.

It's like now that my brain is quiet, I'm hearing way more than I did before.


Last week, pre-drugs, I complained that a day decided it was going to be full of anxiety and insecurity (and not for any particular reason, e.g. PMS). A friend that has been dealing with her own ADD replied and said both her and her brother have ADD, and they've found that they're more inclined to feel anxious when dehydrated. On that particular day I hadn't been drinking any water, and looking back I can definitely see a correlation. (Especially when alcohol is factored in. Hoo boy.)

So I'm taking Concerta, eating well (and staying hydrated), making regular visits to the gym, going to yoga, and doing a far better job of prioritizing my days. I'm still a long way from fixed (I've managed to forget to turn the iron off three days in a row now. Go team), but I can feel a shift for the better.

The Time I Gave Up and Got Drugs

After seeing my doctor two weeks ago and deciding to go the diagnosis-first route, I was expecting a callback within a couple of days to let me know when my psychiatrist appointment would be. Last year when I was referred to a sinus specialist I got the call for the appointment a couple of days after I saw my doc, with the appointment being a week or two after that.

I called the office back after not hearing anything for a week and was told that I won't get the appointment time and date for probably another month. Then the appointment will be for minimum one month after that, but more likely two. Apparently shrinks are in much higher demand than ear, nose & throat docs.

Three months.

That's a long time.

I've been trying a handful of things to stay focused and try to fix this feeling of never being able to accomplish anything. I've been skipping out on yoga because other things have gotten in the way, but I'm going back tonight. I've been attempting meditation, and while I can mostly/somewhat/kind of calm my brain when that's my focus, it doesn't change that I go right back to Miss Scatterbrain the second I go back to non-om life. And since I know that part of this is bad habit, I've been actively trying to align my awareness (for lack of a non-douchey way of saying that), and forcing myself to stop and think and prioritize before throwing myself at something else.

But it's not really working. I'm still feeling like I can't do anything right, or on time, or at all. Like just now, when I realized that my salmon burger was (over)done because I could smell the smoke. I'm less than ten feet from the stove. What the fuck.

Or this morning when I was happy with myself that I got up and headed straight to the gym, and even remembered to grab my waterbottle that I'd removed from my gym bag. But then I got to the gym and realized that I'd forgotten my sports bra and to eat breakfast. So in an unsupported, low-blood-sugar state I drove myself home.

I can't figure out why regular day-to-day tasks are such a challenge for me. I have trouble with things that I do every single day. I make eleven trips up and down the stairs when I'm getting ready to head out because my brain cannot think clothes-perfume-deodorant-purse-cellphone all at once, and instead thinks of one more thing each time I start putting on my shoes. I forgot to turn off the oven on Friday when I was baking, and thankfully remembered half an hour later. A neighbour had to tell me that I left the lights on in my car. Even driving's becoming difficult, and I'm finding myself way less attentive than before. I used to be better at this.

So after some internal debate, I called back to my doc's office and made an appointment for today. Which I was late for. Surprise surprise.

Sommi is a good doctor. He cares about you as a person, not just you as a patient, and he's not very pro-drugs the way some doctors are. He'll give you a referral or write you a prescription whenever you need it, but he'll recommend self-help books and specialists and neti-pots and meditation and anything else he thinks might be a better route than immediately prescribing drugs.

I went in today, and told him that while I still want to see a psychiatrist and get a proper diagnosis (which he backed 100%), I think I'd like to try something in the interim. Sommi was happy with this plan, because if he prescribes something and it works, then our suspicions are confirmed. If it doesn't work, then we're back at square one with no risks or damage and one thing crossed off the list. He was also happy that it was my idea to try something, not his, because he likes it when patients make their own mind up about trying a med. (Good thing I don't have a penchant for pharmaceuticals, as that would be quite the enabling statement.)

So for the next two weeks, beginning today, I'm taking 18mg of Concerta. Sommi said he's been really happy with the results he's seen in patients to whom he's prescribed it, and would take it himself if he decided to treat the ADD that he suspects he has. Within a week I should notice a difference in focus, and after I'm to see him again to let him know if it's working or not. He's also given me a prescription for another two weeks' worth of 27mg, in case I feel like it's working a little and want to test the waters on a slightly beefier dose (and in case I can't get in to see him right away).

I don't like that this is where I'm at. I hate that this is where I'm at. I feel like I'm failing horribly, and disappointing everyone around me. But something needs to change, and while all this is still new, it already feels like this is a last resort. It's not cheap either, at $41 for 14 doses, and especially on my unemployed budget, but I need to get this sorted. I need this to be fixed. And soon.

Fingers crossed.