100 things I learned on my trip

1. Smiling will get you everywhere.
2. I am worth 4,000,000 camels, 100 pashminas and a shop, or two blocks of the pyramids.
3. India is insane.
4. The Eiffel Tower really is all it's cracked up to be.
5. A good book means you never eat dinner alone.
6. Expect to pay as much for tea in Europe as you would for a sandwich in Canada.
7. The best samosas in the world are halfway between Varanasi and the Nepal border, on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, and cost Rs 2 (approximately 5¢ CDN).
8. The Greek islands are best visited in the summer.
9. The Champs-Elysees is everything that's wrong with humanity.
10. Water purifcation tablets, drops and your own water bottle are completely unnecessary.
11. Going by the meter in a taxi in India means the driver will circle the city repeatedly to make more money.
12. It is fiscally irresponsible not to attend happy hour.
13. Canadians go travelling for a gap year, or take time off work. Americans study abroad for a semester.
14. Europe treats the Euro exactly like the dollar. $3.75 for a hot chocolate at home, €3.75 for a hot chocolate in Amsterdam.
15. France needs a lesson or two in silver quality and pricing from Egypt and India.
16. Dutch is the most hilariously ridiculous language, both on paper and when spoken.
17. Top Deck is a terrible tour company.
18. Gap Adventures is an awesome tour company.
19. India: just as stinky as you'd expect.
20. Never backpack without a sleeping bag.
21. The French love English accents.
22. Blonde hair equals celebrity status in India.
23. Athens' stray dogs are collectively cared for by everyone, and even get regular vet checkups.
24. 9/10 Americans don't deserve their reputation as rude, arrogant, ignorant travellers. But that 1/10, they couldn't deserve it more.
25. 9/10 Canadians do deserve our reputation as kind, grateful, polite travellers. The 1/10 should be exiled to America.
26. Missing your best friend's wedding sucks. It sucks really, really bad.
27. Greece is hoarding the world's supply of tall, dark and handsome.
28. Watching a cremation on the banks of the Ganges isn't creepy at all. In fact, it's beautiful.
29. The French call the Netherlands "Pays-Bas."
30. In the Cairo airport, smiling nicely means they'll let you board a plane with contraband.
31. When presented with a squatter toilet and a western toilet, the squatter will be less disgusting.
32. Every single dog, no matter its breed, colour, size or disposition, reminds me of Jack and how much I miss him.
33. It's not if you'll get sick, it's when, and for how long, and how badly.
34. Scarves make excellent packing material. That's how I justify purchasing more than a dozen.
35. In India, you can spend as much time haggling the price as the actual taxi ride takes.
36. The pyramids really are all they're cracked up to be.
37. Check your tickets. You may have already paid for a ferry ticket when you bought your bus ticket, and don't need to buy another.
38. It is easier to read Greek than to speak it.
39. If you're confused, and someone else also looks confused, they speak English.
40. Apparently "Je ne parle Francais" is code for "I speak French."
41. Losing your camera makes an expensive night out drastically more expensive.
42. Cameras are cheaper at home than abroad. By about $250.
43. The security at the Kathmandu airport is both the most stringent and the most lax on the planet.
44. In some countries, staring isn't considered rude. That doesn't make it any less creepy though.
45. No matter how little English someone speaks, they'll still know how to ask "Boyfriend? Husband?"
46. A leader can make or break a tour.
47. Elephants love love love oranges and bananas.
48. The French actually dress like their stereotype: navy and white stripes and berets abound.
49. Greeks don't understand lineups.
50. A load of laundry costs more than dinner in a nice restaurant.
51. The Mona Lisa is way smaller than you'd expect it to be.
52. Paris' free wifi doesn't work for non-locals.
53. A $300 netbook more than pays for itself in internet café savings.
54. That same netbook proves priceless when it houses a backup of all your photos and you've lost your camera.
55. The Acropolis really is all it's cracked up to be.
56. Haggling something down to one-sixth of its original price isn't unheard of.
57. Canada has the best tasting vegetables.
58. Athens has more history than they know what to do with. Case in point: H&M has a glass floor so you can see the ruins below.
59. The air pollution in New Delhi is equivalent to smoking 20 cigarettes a day.
60. Starbucks tastes exactly the same everywhere.
61. The Euromullet: not just for dudes anymore.
62. A $10 tube of mascara at home is €15 in France.
63. If North America is a year behind European fashion, 2011 will be the year of the really ugly jean.
64. Flea markets at home: great deals abound. Flea markets in Paris: €575 for two chairs, €190 for a non-precious metal necklace, €80 for an ad from an old magazine.
65. The Red Light District in Amsterdam isn't as seedy, dirty, disgusting, dangerous or immoral as some say. In fact, it's none of those things. It's just business.
66. In the Catacombes, being nice to the security guard means he'll take pictures of you with flash.
67. Ferries in Greece are on time about a third of the time.
68. Bollywood films are fantastic.
69. Getting sprayed by an elephant's trunk is the coolest waterfight ever.
70. Six days worth of clean clothes can easily last you two weeks.
71. India is the only country whose airports have reasonable prices for food.
72. Accordions will drown out your headphones, no matter how loud you turn up your music. So will clarinets.
73. 50ml of astringent will last you exactly 80 days!
74. The Taj Mahal really is all it's cracked up to be.
75. Cows causing traffic jams in India is not a myth.
76. Paris has a miniature version of the Statue of Liberty.
77. People are entirely too generous to me.
78. NOFX didn't write Aux Champs-Elysees.
79. Buses in India have air conditioners, but no heaters.
80. Egyptians are crazy for blue eyes.
81. YVR is the nicest airport.
82. A seven hour bus ride is half the price of a three hour train ride.
83. I am incapable of travelling without a purse, and should never again attempt such a feat.
84. Outside of North America, I am taller than many men. In India, I am taller than most men.
85. It is possible to mispronounce "Sam."
86. Being in Greece while your parents are in Chile after a massive earthquake is the lonliest feeling in the world.
87. Woolly mammoth skeletons are just as cool as dinosaur skeletons. Possibly moreso.
88. The Pink Palace is not all it's cracked up to be.
89. Daylight savings time does not happen on the same day in every country.
90. Many of the oil paintings available in touristy areas are actually made in China.
91. Rhinos snort with displeasure when you wake them up.
92. Dining in restaurants for every meal sounds glamorous until you try it. Eating out loses its appeal when it's a necessity, not a luxury.
93. The best tasting meals are the ones put together out of €20 worth of groceries. Saving money is delicious.
94. Lonely Planet books are worth their weight in gold.
95. Paris is home to both the best and worst French fries on the planet.
96. I am incapable of not buying additional luggage to cart around my souvenirs.
97. People really are generally good, and really want to help you.
98. The more you travel, the more you realize you haven't seen even a shred of what there is to see.
99. The world is unbelievably amazing.
100. There really is no place like home.